Victory Point: The Kindness of Strangers

Yesterday I was that mom.  I was the mom that everyone glanced at furtively with sympathy and compassion.  I was the mom that no other mom wanted to be.  I was the mom that stood in the midst of strangers, crying and panicking and frantically darting my eyes in every direction because...

...I was the mom that lost my toddler in Kohl's...right after my baby puked all over himself and the cart and the floor.

I was that mom.

It was a last-minute trip.  I wanted to get out of the house to conserve my sanity and to provide some quiet for Eli who was sleeping after a 24-hour shift.  I had a coupon, and Caleb needed new jammies anyway, so I put the kids in the car and drove to Kohl's for a quick shopping trip.  Nothing fancy.  Nothing lengthy.  Just a quick, harmless jaunt through the store.

But within five minutes of walking through the doors, my Mama Nightmare began.  Kai, who had been cheery and normal and healthful all morning, suddenly started shrieking in the cart.  I was just around the clothing rack from him, keeping an eye on Caleb who had found some superhero toys to gawk at, and quickly realized that Kai not only had no reason to be shrieking but also was not letting up.  I turned to find him flailing in the cart because he was covered in puke that was coming out of his mouth and nose.

I quickly learned this equation:
puke everywhere + panicking and flailing baby = even more puke everywhere

This was my first Kid Puke Experience.  Caleb has never thrown up.  But apparently it was Kai's time, and apparently it was destined to happen in public.

I frantically started cleaning him up while trying to comfort him at the same time.  I reached in my bag for the travel pack of wipes I always have on hand and then realized I had a total of three wipes left.  I cursed myself for failing to put a new pack in my bag when I had thought of it a couple days prior.  I used all three wipes and barely made a dent in the volume of vomit.  It was now on the floor and spreading with every flail from Kai.

My heart was aching for my crying son while also panicking about how to clean up the mess and get out of the store quickly and decently.  Suddenly I realized I should have Caleb nearby so I could easily grab both kids once I got Kai out of his pukey clothes.  I left Kai and found Caleb by the superhero toys and said he needed to come with me.  This bit of news did not please him.  He said "No!" quite emphatically and refused to come with me.  So I picked him up and he began wailing as I carried him back toward Kai who was still screeching in the cart.  I put Caleb down and turned my back on him to take care of Kai.

Therein was my mistake.  I turned my back on a child who was not keen on staying near me!

I carefully pulled the screaming baby out of the cart and began removing his jacket and pants.  Thankfully his onesie was spared, but he needed a pair of pants to wear home in the cold weather so I grabbed a random pair from a shelf.  In the midst of all this I was repeatedly saying, "It's okay, baby.  Mama's here.  It's okay, it's okay."  My mantra was overheard by another shopper who was there with her own kid, and she asked if I needed help.  I said I needed a new cart and she gladly offered to get me one.  She took off and I felt a bit better as I pulled a new pair of pants on a still-crying Kai.  Then, I suddenly realized that Caleb wasn't wailing right behind me anymore.  I stood up and called for him.  I couldn't see him so I returned to the superhero display.  He wasn't there and in that instant I just knew in that gut-instinct kind of way that my son had taken off and was lost.  He could be anywhere.  Anywhere!

I started frantically searching through the entire infant/toddler section and calling his name.  He was nowhere to be seen or heard.  I darted toward the front of the store, thinking he'd found another toy section, and was met by the helpful woman bringing me another cart.  I blurted out, "I can't find my other son!"  The woman didn't skip a beat: "I'll start looking" and she took off in the direction I'd just come from to do another search.

I kept looking and kept failing to find my son and I really started to panic.  A store employee passed me as I called Caleb's name and moved about wildly.  She instantly discerned what was happening and asked, "What's he wearing?"  I blurted, "A green John Deere hat and a brown jacket!  His name's Caleb.  This one threw up and I was trying--and I can't find him--and I was cleaning him up--and he likes to hide--and I don't know where he is!"  I wasn't speaking coherently, spouting out information at random.  The woman spoke into her walkie-talkie: "Code Yellow in infants and toddlers.  Code Yellow."

Suddenly a flurry of Kohl's employees descended on the infant/toddler section.  Everyone could see that I was the mom.  I was crying by then, carrying Kai in my arms who still had puke coming out his nose, and calling Caleb's name loudly.  I was walking through the clothing racks again and a kind customer caught my attention to say he was looking for my son too.  Several employees affirmed, "We'll find him."  Minutes that seemed like hours had already passed and I felt the weight of my child's lostness.  One employee admitted that she'd seen him a few minutes before in a different section, "but he was so fast!" she exclaimed.  I repeated that he sometimes likes to hide, hoping that someone would stumble upon him even if he had found a niche to crouch in.  At that point another employee asked me to stay put.  "We need to know where the mom is when we find him.  And we'll find him!  He's here somewhere!"  Someone else tried to encourage me by saying that this has happened to everyone before, but all I could think in that moment was, "You want me to stay put???  I need to find my child!!!"  I paced and the employee repeated that I should stay there with her.  Of course it was reasonable but I was fraught with panic.  I'd never truly lost my child before!

About ten seconds later someone called, "We found him!"  And then a woman was carrying Caleb around the corner and he saw me and shouted, "Mom!  Found balls!"  And I raced to him and scooped him in my other arm and held him close and kept crying and said, "You found balls?  Okay, okay.  Mama's here."

I couldn't be angry or disciplinary or anything else along those lines.  My lost son had been found!  I can't explain the relief and joy I felt in that moment.

Everyone started dispersing and I carried both my sons back to the site of the puke.  The kind employee who'd called the Code Yellow came with me and asked what I needed.  I asked for a bag to put the pukey clothes in and another bag for the wipes and tissues I'd used to clean up the mess.  She obliged and took care of the pukey shopping cart for me too.  The man who'd also been searching for Caleb came over to check on us.  Caleb looked at him and said, "Found superheroes!"  The man smiled and said, "Yeah?  Well, even superheroes need to stay with their moms."  And then, entirely on his own, Caleb climbed into the clean cart and sat down and said, "Stay this seat.  Right here."  And I affirmed him in that: "Yes, you stay in that seat, right there!"

We somehow made our way to the front and bought the new pair of pants and got out to the car in one piece.  And then the trauma hit me all over again and I just shook in the car.  Since Eli was sleeping I decided to call my best friend because I needed to process my Mama Nightmare with someone.

Recently, my best friend and I had a conversation about how to pray for and strive for and claim our victory in Christ because Satan is always working to pull us down through the craziness of life.  But Christ is our foundation and Christ is the victor and in all things HE is to be glorified.  So we decided to start encouraging each other by sharing the victories we experience.  And yesterday, because of my Mama Nightmare at Kohl's, this was my Victory Point: the kindness of strangers.  I was desperate and despairing and simply freaking out, and numerous strangers came to my aid to help find my lost son and clean up my pukey baby.  Praise Jesus for these people!

Then, on the way home Kai threw up again.  I swear the puke was multiplying as it came out.  There was so much vomit.  So I called my husband and woke him up and said, "You have to meet me at the door."

So another Victory Point: a loving husband who may be sleep-deprived but who meets me at the door and carries our pukey kid inside and lets him puke a third time in his arms.  To God be the glory!

(Kai wore pajamas the rest of the day while Caleb was blissfully ignorant of his earlier exploits.)