O Sleep, Where Art Thou?

At my last prenatal appointment my doctor asked how I'm sleeping.  I paused, not quite sure how to answer such a simple question.  I assured her that the pregnancy wasn't causing much trouble yet.  "It's the other two," I said.  "Well, it's just Caleb," I clarified.  "Kai does great, but Caleb's never been a good sleeper."  My doctor looked at me with empathy, then moved on to other questions about the pregnancy.

Caleb.  Oh Caleb.  My sweet, sleep-averse little boy.  He exhausts me every day with his sleepless habits.  He wakes up between 5 and 5:30 almost every day no matter what time he goes to bed.  And he can't put himself back to sleep once he wakes up, even if he's still tired.  And because he hates being alone, he won't settle for playing in his room quietly until it's time for everyone else to get up.  He has to be in our room, playing around and whispering to himself while periodically asking if we can go downstairs.  If we ask him to go back to his room because it's too early, he does, but then stands just inside the door and cries painfully loud (as if playing with all the toys and books in his room by himself is the worst punishment ever).  Regardless of what happens, we're awake for the day during the 5 o'clock hour because Caleb is.

He only sleeps about 9 hours a night, which is how much I ideally need these days.  How is it possible that my barely 3-year old doesn't need any more sleep than I do?  And he still wakes up overnight at least half the time and has to be put back to bed.  So...I'm tired.  I nap every day when he does, which is most days, but his naps are not long.  He just doesn't seem to need as much sleep as other kids his age.

Sometimes I ask why I'm so tired because even Caleb's crazy sleep habits don't always warrant my level of exhaustion, and then Eli reminds me, "Krista, you're pregnant.  You're supposed to be tired."  So I feel validated.  But man oh man, I am tired these days.

I took this picture a couple months ago because his sweet face pulled my heartstrings.  I find myself looking at it occasionally to remind myself that our son does indeed sleep sometimes, and that rest is a wonderful thing not to be taken for granted.  Someday, someday, we won't be this exhausted all the time.  Even if I have to wait till that day when I see Jesus face to face, I know that REST will be awaiting me there!